To cut the thread
by jayer
Summary: One spins, one measures, one cuts. Post the guilted age
1. Chapter 1

"Adam."

The voice was like a slap. Sharp and loud. He didn't need to hear anyone say it. It was over. They had lost.

He pulled off his gown, shoving it into the trash. He tossed his glasses on the counter. He wanted to scream, to hit something, but he forced himself not to.

As he looked up he saw Brittany watching.

"What is it Brittany?" He leaned out the door.

"I need you to come down to MRI right away."

He turned back, about to say it needed to wait. He had to tell Hunter's family. And Kara.

He saw Erin watching.

"I need to go."

"Go." Erin said softly.

He nodded. He knew what she wasn't saying. That she would see to the uncomfortable business at hand.

But there was one part he had to do. As much as he hated the stupid rule. He was the surgeon of record. Legally it wasn't over until he said it.

"Time of death. 5:22pm"


	2. Chapter 2

Brittany looked up at the sound of footsteps.

"Jordi, how'd it go?"

"It didn't."

"Oh," Brittany didn't know how to respond to his matter of fact reply. He'd been working on his application for weeks, shouldn't he be upset. Then again Nurse Jackson had been with him. Despite her reputation as a 'scary bitch' and 'bad ass', she wouldn't begrudge him an emotional tantrum. Let him get it out so he could put on a brave face in front of everyone else. 100% WWNJD.

"Well you have a visitor."

"Tell her to go away."

"I don't think I can do that." She glanced down the hall.

Jordi followed her glance and saw the woman standing outside of his room.

"Abuela?" He hurried down the hall towards her.

"Can I talk to you?" Brittany said before Dena could walk away. She motioned to a quiet corner.

"What's happened?"

"Hunter. He coded in the ICU."

"Good lord." Dena gasped.

"Dr McAndrew and Dr Grace were talking in the hall when it happened. They rushed him to surgery."

"Did his body reject the liver?"

"No, one of the surgical nurses said there was a rupture." Brittany paused. "He didn't make it."

"That poor boy." Dena shook her head. "Does Kara know?"

Brittany nodded, "She was with the family. Apparently she and Hunter's sister got friendly."

"What about the others"

"Emma was asleep. Leo and Dash are MIA. I think they are up on the roof. One last hurrah before Leo goes home."

"Are you okay?"

"Me?"

"This is the first patient's death you've been through."

"I'm kind of numb. I keep thinking I really want to go have a good cry, but I can't because I need to be here for the kids."

Dena nodded. Brittany had started as an annoying ditz but she was a quick learner. "I need to check in with Dr McAndrew."

"Last time I saw him was in the MRI lab."

"Okay then." Dena walked away, choking back tears of her own. She understood about wanting to have a cry. But there was work to be done first.


	3. Chapter 3

Brittany looked up at the sound of footsteps.

"How'd it go?"

"It didn't."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Brittany didn't know how to respond to his matter of fact reply. He'd been working on his application for weeks, shouldn't he be upset. Then again Nurse Jackson had been with him. Despite her reputation as a 'scary bitch' and 'bad ass', she wouldn't begrudge him an emotional tantrum. Let him get it out so he could put on a brave face in front of everyone else. 100% WWNJD.

"Well you have a visitor."

"Tell her to go home.

"I don't think I can can tell her that." She glanced down the hall. "But if you want."

Jordi followed her glance and saw the woman standing outside of his room.

"Abuela?" He hurried down the hall towards her.

"Can I talk to you?" Brittany said before Dena could walk away. She motioned to a quiet corner.

"What's happened?"

"Hunter. He coded in the ICU."

"Good lord." Dena gasped.

"Dr McAndrew and Dr Grace were talking in the hall when it happened. They rushed him to surgery."

"Did his body reject the liver?"

"No, one of the surgical nurses said there was a rupture." Brittany paused. "He didn't make it."

"That poor boy." Dena shook her head. "Does Kara know?"

Brittany nodded, "She was with the family. Apparently she and Hunter's sister got friendly."

"What about the others"

"Emma was asleep. Leo and Dash are MIA. I think they are up on the roof. One last hurrah before Leo goes home."

"Are you okay?"

"Me?"

"This is the first patient's death you've been through."

"I'm kind of numb. I keep thinking I really want to go have a good cry, but I can't because I need to be here for the kids."

Dena nodded. Brittany had started as an annoying ditz but she was a quick learner. "I need to check in with Dr McAndrew."

"Last time I saw him was in the MRI lab."

"Okay then." Dena walked away, choking back tears of her own. She understood about wanting to have a cry. But there was work to be done first.


	4. Chapter 4

He turned off the monitors but he couldn't move. He could still see the images. In the cool dark of the room. On the back of his eyelids as he leaned heavily into the counter. He felt frozen by the dread of what they meant.

He had no idea how long he stood there, in the dark, trying to make the images go away. Trying to will it all to just disappear, to never happen.

It was about as useful as praying to get rid of a demon in your leg.

There was a light knock on the door. Adam looked up to see Dena.

"Hey sorry to bother you." She said softly. "I just heard about Hunter."

He swallowed hard. He needed to tell her but the words wouldn't come. He tapped the monitor back on.

"Now is there anything you need me to do." She kept going, her voice a gentle tone typically reserved for the patients. He relied on her to be the bad ass in all things. This just made it harder.

"Should I sit down with Kara?"

He turned, still unable to speak. He looked up at the screens knowing she'd follow.

"Should I"

She stopped short as she saw it. Dena might only be a nurse but she was smart enough to be more, probably a far better doctor than he'd be. No it wasn't a lack of anything but desire that kept her where she was. She liked being able to be there to wipe the fevered faces, to sing the lullabies, even to tie a shoe if needed. It made them a perfect pair.

"Who?"

"It's Leo." He choked out softly.

"Oh no. Oh my god."

"I don't know how to tell him. He was supposed to go home today."

"I know."

"He was supposed to go home."

He closed his eyes, looking down. He was on the verge of completely breaking down. It wasn't Dena standing there that was stopping him. He knew she wouldn't care, wouldn't say a word. No it was just the simple fact that if he let himself start he wasn't sure he'd ever stop.

Adam felt a hand on his arm. "Okay then, take a deep breath."

Adam did.

"Now look at me."

When he opened his eyes, Dena was watching him.

"Let's go tell him together."


	5. Chapter 5

"I don't understand how this could happen. He was on chemo."

"Chemotherapy is targeted for the form of cancer, in order to try to reduce the impact on the patient's overall health. Which means unfortunately sometimes things like this happen.

"I want to be clear that we don't let know what we're dealing with. The probability is a tumor but it could be discrete, easy to removal surgically."

"Or it's not."

Adam nodded, "or it's not."

"Mr Roth. Mrs Roth." Dena calmly jumped in. "What we need to focus on is Leo. This is going to be a shock to him. He's going to be angry and scared. Trying to divine every possible scenario will only make things worse."

"You're right." Mrs Roth nodded, wiping away the tears she was failing to hold back.

"What now?"

"Tomorrow we'll run some tests. More detailed scans. We'll determine the best course of action once we have more information. I'll be consulting with several doctors from various hospitals. I'll find Leo the best neurological surgeon out there."

"Thank you."

Adam took a breath. "I wish I could promise you that everything is going to be fine. But I can't because I just don't know.

"But this is what I do know. Leo is one of the strongest young men I've ever met. He's already pushed through so much and shown so much strength. He's been a pillar of support for other kids, including one that came to us no family at all. I can't say that I believe in God but I do believe that if given a chance, your son can make it through this. So we're going to give him the best chance we can."

"How are we going to tell him."

"Let us do that."

"And we should do it alone." Dena added. "This is going to be a shock and it could get a little messy. No matter what the situation, no 16 year old boy wants to lose it in front of his mother. It's embarrassing."

"Okay." They nodded, perhaps relieved even.

"Do we know where Leo is?" Adam asked as they walked back into the hallway.

"Best guess, the roof." Dena caught his look. "Yes I know about the card Ruben gave them."

"I'll wait in his room. You stay here." He probably should have stayed at the desk but he really wanted a minute alone.

"Adam. What you said to Leo's parents, it was really good."

"I just told them the truth."

"I meant the other part."

"So did I."


	6. Chapter 6

He was standing by the window when he heard Leo and Dena talking.

"What is it?" He could hear Leo asking impatiently.

"Hey Leo." He turned toward the boy. "Have a seat."

Leo sat down on the battered love seat, barely registering that Dena sat down next to him. Adam pulled over the stool.

"We got the results of your MRI."

"Cool. So I'm good." He started to stand up.

"No, Leo." Adam gently stopped him. "There was something in the images."

"What do you mean by 'something'?"

"Some kind of mass."

"A tumor?"

"Possibly, probably."

"In my leg? Are you going to have to cut off more of my leg?"

Adam hesitated. "No, not in your leg."

"Where?" Leo was oddly calm. It actually made things harder.

"It's in your brain." Adam could barely get the words out.

He could see Leo swallow, hard. He saw the shaking as Leo's breath began faster, panicked.

"Shhh, Leo." Dena said as she wrapped around his shoulders. She looked up at him and silently nodded toward the door. A message unspoken but understood. Leo wasn't ready to hear anything else. It could wait until morning.

Adam was not surprised to find Dash standing outside. Of course he would have been listening, Leo was his friend. Adam put a hand on the boy's shoulder and gave him a silent nod.

He found himself standing outside the door with no memory of even walking there. He knocked softly and pushed the door open.

"Care for a drink?" Erin held up a bottle.

"Yeah."

Adam followed her to the small sofa in the corner. He poured two glasses and handed one to her. They drank in silence, a toast to a lost patient perhaps. He leaned his head back, the last of his energy draining away. His hands were shaking as he lifted the glass to take another drink.

Adam closed his eyes, trying to shut it all out. He felt Erin take the glass out of his hand. A moment later, an arm wrapped around his shoulders. He laid his head on her shoulder and at last he felt safe enough to let go. To let himself cry.


End file.
